I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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