Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
