saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
