He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Quick, to the slutcave!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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