There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
