after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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