Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
