He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
