Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
