i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
