Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
