and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
