My boss' voice literally gives me gas
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
