we need to drink 2009 down the drain
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
