This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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