Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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