atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
