if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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