Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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