You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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