Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
