he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
