Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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