I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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