MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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