So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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