I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
