Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
