I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My pussy is not your playground.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
