Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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