you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
