is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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