You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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