covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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