Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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