super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
