so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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