We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize