You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
