yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
