So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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