Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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