It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
