I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
