It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't turn off my feet"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
