so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
