There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
