So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
