i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
