I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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