She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
