I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think my moral compass just broke
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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