You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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