just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
