i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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