Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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