I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
