I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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