She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
