He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
