Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
