Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize