she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize