i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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