I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
