Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
