i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
