I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I FOUND THE LEGS
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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